It’s My 40th Birthday!
On this day, forty years ago, my mother brought me into the world. I never expected to be here. Not that I expected to be dead, but this age arrived so fast. It seems like just yesterday that I was turning thirty, but time marches on whether we want it to or not. Today is my 40th birthday. After I graduated High School, I started a tradition of reviewing the past year on my birthday. Each year, I wanted to know if I had improved my life overall. What were the high points? What lessons did I learn? On this momentous occasion of turning 40, I decided to look, not just at the previous year, but at my life as a whole.
39 to 40
Last year was amazing, and I summarized 2017 here. Since then, a few things changed. As part of my career goals, I rearranged my schedule, which meant that I had to close my business STL Counterpoint. Work took up a good portion of my life in these past few months and isn’t slowing down. On the writing front, I placed a bet on myself by getting my own website, submitted some work for publication, and queried a website for an article. I’m practicing my craft more often and with increased regularity. My jiu jitsu practice suffered due to work and closing the business. Even with these new additions over the last three months, the previous year 39 to 40 marked an improvement in my life. I completed four major goals, one that I set back at good ole Athens Community High School in small town Illinois.
Life
On my 40th birthday, I decided to ask myself if I was happy with my life. Note, the question is not am I happy, but am I happy with my life? The distinction is important because happiness comes and goes. Right now, I’m happy because lovely people are wishing me a happy birthday. But asking if I’m happy with my life requires more thought than just checking my feelings. Looking back, my life moves up, down, and occasionally spirals. Similar to everyone else, I experienced amazing highs and depressing lows. Those experiences are life.
Also, what I mean by am I happy with my life is not would I do it all again. The answer to that is no; certain mistakes that I made would have to be avoided. What I mean is that I enjoy my life. More often than not, I enjoy the day to day monotony that is my life. I like being an engineer; I like reading tons of books, writing, martial arts and craft beer. Considering all the choices that came before now, good decisions number more than bad. I am grateful and thankful for that, but life is more than just a balance of good to bad. For me, life is best when I feel useful.
But Are You Happy with Your Life?
In order to feel useful, I need to be active; so, I set realistic goals that challenge me. I’ve put myself in a position to complete my goals, and that pursuit, that constant improvement, makes my life wonderful. I set goals that matter to me. For example, one goal is to submit my revised novel to agents. Note that the goal isn’t to publish it. I don’t have any control over that1. In February, I completed a goal to write the first draft of a novel. This summer, when I have sufficient intellectual distance, I’ll begin revising that first draft. Because writing and revising are actions that I can do, I make them goals. If an agent decides to represent me or a publisher decides to print the novel, great! But that’s outside the realms of my control. So, getting an agent or publishing a book can’t be goals.
Because I set goals that are within my control, I dedicate my life to completing those goals. This gives me a sense of purpose, a sense of always moving forward on my own terms instead of being swept up in the flow of time. Or, to put it more simply, I live as much of my life as I can on my terms. And that makes me happy. So, on my 40th birthday, I can say without doubt that I love my life.
1. Before you write me, self-publishing is an option. But with all my research, self-publishing includes more marketing than I’m comfortable with. I admire those who do self-publish. It’s a full time job that I do not have the energy for. Of course, I reserve the right to change my mind in the future.