Back in younger days, my family would sit down to watch cheesy sitcoms. Those late 80s/early 90s shows were part of family night with my mom, dad, and sister. When Cheers ended, a secondary – maybe even tertiary – character spun off his own show that lasted for eleven seasons. Frasier premiered in 1993, better known as my senior year of high school. The first season replaced Cheers in the family’s TV habits. The character Frasier, while funny, didn’t strike either me or my dad as likely for a spin-off show, but we enjoyed that first season. Often when I’d call home from college, with nothing else to talk about, Dad and I would discuss the shows we were watching, and Frasier would be part of the discussions. Neither of us made it farther than season five.
Frasier is the story of a psychiatrist who moves from Boston to his hometown of Seattle, and upon arriving home, he switches careers into talk radio. Upon arriving home, he renews his friendship with his younger brother Niles, and his disabled father moves in with him. Both Niles and Frasier are psychiatrists who prefer high art, wine, and opera; so, when Martin, a retired cop who prefers beer, sports, and his dog Eddie, move in with Frasier, an odd couple comedy ensues. In order to help with his father, Frasier hires a housekeeper/physical therapist from Manchester, England, named Daphne. Upon meeting her, Niles, a married man, falls instantly in love with her. It’s a story of family, of finding your place in the world, and caring for others. The writers got eleven seasons out of it, and it entered that rare place in television history where the spinoff became as popular as the original show.
I returned to the show after college. Often, I’d put it on for background noise, soon finding I’d sat down to watch the episodes. Eventually, it became enough of staple in my adult life that I bought the DVD box sets. I’m currently on my fifth watch through of it. Last year, Sue decided to watch through the whole show for the first time. Watching her reactions, the show has held up. Sure, the clothing is very dated, and you can watch the normalization of cell phones. But it holds up. In some ways, I wonder if it was ahead of its time. Each watch through, I saw different aspects of the story as a whole. I would return to the show anytime I got depressed, or even lonely. The comfort of a known show that ended well helped lift me up when I was down.
The show, for all its sophistication, is a comedy of errors or a farce. Where it shines, though, is in the deeply emotional moments found throughout the series. As I’ve aged, I’ve noticed how the show focuses on a family navigating their relationships as adults. In particular, Frasier and Martin growing closer together is a story arc that extends from first to last episode. When Dad was alive, I didn’t pay attention to the father/son stories. But now that he’s gone, the stories of them becoming closer hurts. Part of me mourns that I won’t be able to support my father as he ages. As with any relationship, the father/son dynamic changes with time. Dad and I made it through my childhood and rebellious years to find as much of a friendship as possible. Now, I appreciate how they navigate the odd couple dynamic to form a real bond. Many of the first season shows deal with the change in their dynamic. Watching the show, I can’t help but wonder how aging would have changed my father. We had a great relationship. Each time that I watch Frasier and Martin struggle to find common ground, I’m grateful that my father always made an effort. For the entirety of my life, he attempted to take interest in me and my life. With each rerun, Frasier reminds me that I had a great father.