True crime isn’t my thing. However, my wife loves documentaries, TV shows, and podcasts that all fall into the genre. When a Goodreads giveaway popped for a book titled, Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered, written by the creators/hosts of a very popular true crime podcast, I thought I’d enter for Sue. I’ve entered lots and lots of these giveaways without winning. So, imagine my surprise when I was notified that I won this one. Because of twitter, I recognized the name of one of the authors, Karen Kilgariff. Then I found out the two host My Favorite Murder. My curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to read it. Would the book be true crime? Comedy? Self-help? It turns out to be all three. Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark have written a memoir filled with lessons from their own lives. To my surprise, the advanced reading copy (ARC) that I received from the giveaway was missing something, the last half of the book. I’d won a partial ARC, which I didn’t even know was a thing. So, what follows is a partial review because I read only five chapters of the book.
Note: Since I won this in a giveaway, I wanted to thank the publisher, MacMillan, for the review copy.
TL;DR
Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark’s Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered is filled with funny, poignant, and wise essays. Highly recommended.
From the Publisher
The highly anticipated first book by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark, the voices behind the #1 hit podcast My Favorite Murder!
Sharing never-before-heard stories ranging from their struggles with depression, eating disorders, and addiction, Karen and Georgia irreverently recount their biggest mistakes and deepest fears, reflecting on the formative life events that shaped them into two of the most followed voices in the nation.
In Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered, Karen and Georgia focus on the importance of self-advocating and valuing personal safety over being ‘nice’ or ‘helpful.’ They delve into their own pasts, true crime stories, and beyond to discuss meaningful cultural and societal issues with fierce empathy and unapologetic frankness.
Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered
Imagine finding your best friend at a party. Not that strange of an idea. Now, imagine finding that best friend because of a shared fascination about a grisly murder. If you can imagine that, then you might be a Murderino, which I learned from this book is what the authors call fans of their podcast. I learned that through the compelling essays in Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered. It’s hard to really put a genre label on this book, but if I had to, I’d say it’s a dual memoir, in which the authors reveal the lessons they’ve learned from their own life. Each essay is witty, amusing, and moving. Whether it’s a decision to be polite and get into an older man’s car or memories of a mother’s alzheimers, the authors don’t pull punches. The honesty with which they document their lives disarmed me, and it’s what I look for in memoirs.
Karen dedicates her essays to the topics of self-care and what that really means. Georgia writes about a pivotal and rough part of her teenage years. Altogether, the essays combine to make an argument that caring for yourself is one of the safest things you can do for yourself.
The Best Self-Defense Advice Ever
The title of section 1 is “Fuck Politeness.” Ms. Hardstark leads off with an essay that exemplifies why this is important. In fact, based on my years of experience in the martial arts and studying self-defense, it’s the best advice. I can explain why it’s important, but Hardstark’s essay demonstrates the downfalls of being polite. I’m sure their lifelong study of true crime provided many examples of how politeness got people in trouble. Women, especially, in modern U.S. society are pressured towards ‘politeness,’ and that pressure endangers people. Predators rely on their victims abiding by the established rules of polite society. So, if this book convinces just one person to say “Fuck Politeness” then the book has done a great service.
While “Fuck Politeness” may sound rude, it doesn’t have to be about rudeness. This attitude is more about confidence than anything. The authors demonstrate the difference between rudeness and confidence. “Fuck Politeness” threads through all their essays.
Structure
Of the five chapters that I read, each had a similar structure of an opening, one essay per author, and then a closing section where one author questions the other. I found this really effective and fun. The opening quips were witty and fun. The essays were solo affairs; while the Q&A showed their chemistry with each other. Though I don’t listen to their podcast, these sections made me curious. I imagine they’re quite good at playing off each other.
Criticisms, Maybe
Once I learned that they’re podcast is incredibly popular because of how good they are at discussing true crime, I expected more true crime discussions. Maybe in the remaining portion of the book this happens; or maybe this is how they do the podcast. I have to admit that it’s possible my criticism is due to my own ignorance. However, with them being billed as true crime aficionados, I expected more true crime.
There’s plenty of lessons on how to “Stay Sexy” with fewer about “Don’t Get Murdered.” Again, maybe this is covered in the chapters that I didn’t get. The “Stay Sexy” lessons – therapy, self-care, call your dad, read Ray Bradbury – resonate with me. It’s all excellent advice, which makes me believe they also have good “Don’t Get Murdered” advice.
Conclusion
Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark’s Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered is filled with funny, poignant, and wise essays, at least, the parts that I read. When I signed up for this book, I knew nothing about the authors. I wasn’t even sure if I was going to read it. But Karen’s introduction hooked me. Even though I only have the first five chapters, I plan to seek out the finished product. This book won me over. I may even check out their podcast. If you like witty women dispensing hard-earned life lessons, Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered satisfies.
7.5* out of 10!
* This rating applies to the first five chapters of the book.