Changes Needed
I have an odd relation to writing. I don’t consider myself a writer. All my life, I’ve written something: poetry, short stories, reviews, essays, etc. I love to write, and I love fiction. I even graduated with a Master’s of Fine Arts from the University of Missouri – St. Louis. (I loved my time in that program, and I recommend it to anyone who wants to improve their writing.) Since graduating in 2012, I’ve kept up my fiction writing; though, I don’t talk about it much. A few of the stories get submitted to journals here and there; fiction writing is something I mostly do for myself at this point. But…and there’s always a but, isn’t there to such statements? But I would like to be published through a major, traditional publisher. I grew up reading traditionally published books from the large houses. However a writer that doesn’t attempt to get published, CAN’T get published. So, my current strategy for hoping to get published with very few people knowing about my work doesn’t seem like a winning one, especially when none of the people who read my fiction are publishers.
Then 2020…Need I Say More?
Back in January, I decided that something needed to change. If publishing mattered, then I needed to take it seriously. But after suffering from anxiety attacks, I wanted to make sure that any changes were sustainable. The biggest change I decided on was to respect my sleeping patterns and not try to make a word count if it delayed bedtime. The second biggest change was a decision that this November, I’d participate in the National Novel Writing Month, better known as NaNoWriMo. I’ve attempted it before, without success. However, this will be the first one I’ve attempted since my major panic attack, which happened smack in the middle of my NaNoWriMo attempt. I searched the interwebs for inspiration, for writer’s bullet journals, for any and all NaNoWriMo advice. Then, Covid and work from home threw everything up in the air. Life changed. Stress increased. Old hobbies stopped; new hobbies formed. Most importantly, new boundaries for a healthy work/life balance needed to be established. Fiction writing fell by the wayside. Now, now, it’s time to begin again. And like other aspects of my life, I’m changing my writing habits. After all what’s the worst that could happen? I revert to my old ones?
Trying Something New in Writing
Up until now, my style of writing has been than of the gardener. Part of the fun of writing is learning how the characters get from start to finish. While I knew sort of how I wanted the story to end, I didn’t want to know anything else. The characters needed to be fresh, and I wanted to encounter their trials and tribulations much like the reader would. As I wrote, the story outline would fill itself in but always after the fact. I didn’t do writing exercises; I didn’t listen to soundtracks to put me in the mood; world-building occurred on the side. Prior to any typing, I would often try to prime myself by reading a bit in the same genre as the story. Next, minimum session word counts were a necessity. Usually, my word counts were 500 words, five times a week.
Well, this past Monday I started a new fiction project. And I’m doing the opposite of my normal patterns. I’m going to give the architect style a try. I’m also going to treat it more professionally as if it were a project at my day job. This means creating a goal – finishing the story – and then breaking that goal down into various milestones. In addition, this project will have a schedule and a due date. During the first draft of the story, the minimum word count per session will be 100 words. That’s an easy number for me to hit (see all the above writing). So, it allows me to have the feeling of forward momentum without writing words just for the sake of an arbitrary count. Though I will outline and plan this story, I won’t force the story to fit the plan. If it needs to change, then it’ll change.
Trying Something in Publishing
Once finished, I’ll send it out to various magazines and journals. This involves the biggest change for me. Submitting is such a big job in and of itself. I don’t know how other writers with full time jobs do it, but I guess I’ll soon find out. I have a few places in mind, but research on more places needs to be done. Even thinking about this stage raises my anxiety, but I can do this. I will do this. I’m in a much different place than just a couple of years ago, and I’m better equipped to deal with anxiety. Non-fiction writing – blog posts and reviews – is more of my comfort zone. Hell, I have a couple of essays in Putting the Science in Fiction that I’m incredibly proud of. Submitting the essays to Dan Koboldt and then the editor later on involved almost no anxiety. Fiction submissions, though, have made me anxious since the days of my MFA. I don’t know why. More personal maybe? Though, I doubt this because posts like these are incredibly personal; yet, I don’t hesitate to write this. The fiction selection process is more subjective, maybe?
Whatever the reason, I plan to push my limits once this story finishes. Wish me luck.
Tell me about your writing in the comments below.