My Anxiety
I suffer from high anxiety and panic attacks. In Living with Anxiety part two, I provide some methods of dealing with anxiety and stress. Part one tells the story of my first panic attack, and why I came to compile the following list. This list isn’t final; it changes whenever I learn of new methods that can help me live a better life. If you have a method that you don’t see on this list, please, let me know in the comments.
Weapons to Win the Fight
Fighting against anxiety is possible. As far as I know, there’s no way for me to do something about the neurotoxicity effects I believe I experienced. But I can manage the anxiety, and I am doing that through a number of methods:
- Breathing is the easiest and most immediate way to relieve anxiety. Deep breathing is key to lowering the heart rate and blood pressure. My anxiety often manifests as a tightness of the chest and a feeling of being unable to breathe. Even with lungs full of air, I feel like I’m not able to breathe. Forcing myself to inhale to a count of four and exhale to a count of six takes my mind and my feelings off the breathing.
- Telling myself that I’m having a panic attack and that it will pass reminds me that it’s momentary. My feelings are transitory and will end. I remind myself that this has happened before, and that I was okay, I am okay, and I will be okay.
- Visualization has been huge for me. I picture me and my wife sitting at a beer hall in Munich enjoying the sights and sounds of the city. Or maybe I see us sitting on a beach, cooking in the sun, listening to the waves. The point is to picture myself in a happy place where my stress levels are at the bottom.
- Tracking my anxiety attacks through my journal. That’s how I can say for sure that they are diminishing. It also is a reminder that I’ve survived worse and that I will get through this. Seeing the decreasing trend buoys my spirit, and it gives me hope. It also allows me to recognize new symptoms or patterns of thought that trigger those symptoms.
- Journaling in general has been great for me. It lets me track things, but also I feel as if I have a bit of control over my life. I have been playing around with the bullet journal method for almost a year now, and I really like it. The creativity that goes into setting up the journal helps with the panic. I feel as if I’m doing something fun as opposed to just more work. I like the bullet journal method so much that I’m using it at work as well.
- Exercise. Well, I haven’t gotten much of this because my favorite exercise is martial arts, which induce states of anxiety. In Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ), you confront anxiety head on because you are placed in a state of it by people more experienced than you. There’s a saying in BJJ, “You become comfortable being uncomfortable.” Now, this sounds strange. People ask me why I do it. Because once that time is over, the rest of the world seems muted. Stress and anxiety are at their absolute lowest when I leave the gym. This “face your fears” approach has worked wonders for me, and I plan to continue.
- Eating right helps as well. Unfortunately, it’s the holiday season; so, I’m not eating the best. But my wife – who is an amazing cook – has planned some excellent meals. While she likes to meal plan, I do cook, not as well as her. But I like knowing that I’m taking an active role in which fuels I’m putting in my body.
- Reading is an excellent way to combat anxiety. I sit and read with a cat on my lap. I get to escape my world to somewhere else for a time, and I just slow down.
- Meditation has helped me learn to relax and be more mindful of the mental scripts that often accompany emotional reactions. I subscribed to a popular meditation app, and the various practices it provides has been helpful. Meditation is difficult. While I’ve tried longer meditations, my most successful have been about five minutes long. But the apps recommendation to note what thoughts are spinning around my head has been extremely helpful during panic attacks.
- Therapy with a counselor who specializes in anxiety has been a massive help. At the time of this posting, I’ve only been to a few sessions, but it helps. Also, knowing that I’m active in managing my stress and anxiety has provided relief. Whether the placebo affect or just a change in my mental state, knowing that the therapy visits are schedule relieve small amounts of anxiety. The scheduled appointments give me something to look forward to, and I feel better knowing that I will get new tools for my toolbox.
- Grounding exercises provide a break in the mental dialogue that so often accompanies panic attacks. On my second visit, my therapist gave me specific examples of these exercises that have helped. For me, cool air or water – even ice cubes – provide a tactile focus that pulls my brain out of the anxiety loop. Another example that she gave was to peel oranges or nectarines, which give off a strong smell. Her exercises involved activating the senses, touch, taste, and smell were the ones she emphasized. So far, it does help. To be clear, these exercises do not act like a switch. The anxiety doesn’t stop dead when I smell a French vanilla candle, but it is interrupted. So, I continue to focus on my senses until the attack has passed.
- Alcohol helps. Now, I know that the doctors and therapists won’t recommend this. There are many reasons why this is a double edged razor. I don’t have a drinking problem; I don’t even drink every day. Having a beer to calm my nerves helps. It’s not my go to strategy. It’s not even in the top ten things I would try first. It does help, though. Sue and I enjoy craft beer; for me, having one is like having a desert. It’s a treat, but too much quickly becomes a problem. Beer and alcohol are empty calories. So, this weapon is used sparingly and with understanding of the risks it poses.
- Finally, video games are another escape from the everyday. Like alcohol, video games aren’t my first approach, but they help. I try to use these sparingly because I can, have, and will waste hours playing. At this point in my life, I try to think of video games as a reward for completing my tasks. Video games provide short term gratification, but I’m looking for better investments with my time. While these escapes from reality help me focus on almost anything else, I use them sparingly.
Wow, seeing it in print, that list is longer than I thought it was. It’s also incomplete. With time and suggestions, I’ll find more weapons to add to the fight. To be clear, it is 100% a fight for my life. It’s a fight for quality of life and to be there for my wife, my family, my friends, and everyone else. I have goals that I will accomplish. I’m not going to let anxiety stand in my way. If this list ever loses its effectivity, it’ll be boosted with medication. Because anxiety is a part of my life, but it isn’t the focus of it.